A lesson for the FELLAS

learn to appreciate the woman who is there for you. Stop believing that she will always come back to you every time you want her to. She can only take so much and she is worth a lot more. There are plenty of other men that will know shes a good woman when they meet her, and one of them will be able to provide the love you never gave her. When you see her happy with the one who appreciates and loves her... just remember that you were the one that let her go and you are now sad and alone .

WHOA

Ang, just made me cry. I don't know if they were happy tears, sad tears, or just relief tears. They might be more of relief tears. I have recently let go of someone who I loved dearly because the truth is that he was never for me and I was just hurting myself by being around him and having that love grow more and more for someone who never felt the same about me. I know when you want something you are supposed to go get it. I feel that way about my goals and dreams , but now it does not apply to love. It's about that time to let love find me . I have tried and I am exhausted , chillin seems the right thing for me to do right now. I honestly can't take another heart break. Love , if you are meant for me ... just find me , cause I have given up searching.

P R O J E C T: Vegas

Who's attending ???


August 26th-28th ...

Very excited and very amped as I will be attending and it is my very first Vegas show.
Will have PO's and Champagne in hand. :)

The Season of Letting Go...A Dear John Letter.

The old saying is that if you love something, you should let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it does, love it forever. Doug Horton said that. You probably don't know who he is...I guess that doesn't matter.

No one who reads this blog (with the exception of Iran) may even know who I am. That's the true beauty of it, I guess.

Tis' the season of Letting Go. Forgiving and forgetting. Loving and letting be. There has to be that time when I can look at him (you) and tell myself that no matter how much I love him (you) - I must let him (you) go. Regardless of how perfect he (you) can be. I will always end up hurting him (you).

I know, it sounds corny and cheesy and complicated. But this is what we have been since the first day he touched me. It gets harder and more difficult the more I see you. I guess this is why I've distanced myself. To get away from you. That unsure feeling.

So what to do with a relationship that's been destined to doom from the start? I know the answer to that...

...I have to let you go.

Yes I did say FOOOOOOOOOD and DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINKS

We are having a BBQ

BYOB or bring something to share ...

Black in America Part 1

Ok, Who watched the CNN special last night ? I am a Latina , and I related to most of the documentary. Especially being a successful young women and knowing that the chances of getting married are very minute for me especially if I date within my race. Trust me when I say I would love to stay within my Latino culture. Ugh but it's so frustrating that there aren't many good ones out there. Therefore I have no problem dating outside my race.Do you ladies find it hard to find a decent black/latino man these days?Please comment.

Hold Your Purses!

So there seems to be a trend spreading across the city, a phenomenon that I first sighted at a midtown happy hour spot and then realized it extended all the way to the streets of Washington Heights! It’s the significant other holding his girlfriend’s purse….around his arm. It’s placed so comfortably on his shoulder as though it belonged there in the first place. My first reaction is the fact that a woman’s purse is a sort of sacred realm; it’s our own personal little space where nobody can look unless you allow them to. What does this mean if we’re allowing a man to not just take hold of the purse, but embrace it and show it off the way we’re supposed to?

I discussed this movement with my cousin, who actually said she’s seen a couple of these occurrences on the streets of Miami. Her take on things were that women are taking charge in society and they're using this candid act as proof. Maybe some men aren’t afraid to show their lady is the boss and therefore have no shame in carrying the purse.

Any other theories? Occurrences in your hood?

Do it because you want to do something Good

Hey Help out my boy Mike and his crew:

Dear Friends, Family, and Colleagues.
As many of you know I am about to embark on a cross-country tour with a talented art collective/mural crew called The Trust Your Struggle Collective. I will be supporting their mural tour with workshops and technology assistance in the form of the tour's own blog and web promotion

The Trust Your Struggle Collective is a group of visual artists, educators, and friends dedicated to social justice and community activism through the medium of visual art. The collective is based in the San Francisco Bay Area and New York City. They work in conjunction with several other collectives and groups to produce art exhibits and community based events.

In the year of 2006 the collective completed a tour in which they painted political and socially conscious murals throughout parts of Latin America. The tour, entitled Trust Your Hustle Mural tour was a two month long traveling mural project. . The collective traveled to communities that they felt were misrepresented, repressed, and forgotten by the majority and engaged it's residents in mural projects. The collective is currently preparing to create a national U.S. tour based on this model. The 2008 Trust Your Hustle Mural tour will take place from July to August. It will begin in Brooklyn, New York and travel through Atlanta, New Orleans, Austin, Albuquerque, Phoenix, and L.A. The tour will end in San Francisco, California with a culminating exhibition at the Galería de La Raza

The goal of the Trust Your Struggle Collective is to work with groups of people who are striving to make a positive change in their environment., The tour facilitates an exchange of culture, visual art, and political education. All murals are created in collaboration with local artists, cultural centers, youth, activists, or graffiti collectives. The 2006 tour took the crew through the countries of Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, and Nicaragua.

Another integral component of the mural tour is to help facilitate mural/art workshops as well as panel discussions in the communities where the mural is to be painted. The workshops and panel discussions exemplify their commitment , to the power of n the human connection through the arts. In the past, Trust Your Struggle Collective has facilitated workshops and participated on panels a the following institutions: Virginia Tech University, Trinity College in Connecticut, University of the Arts in Boston, and Casa de Artesana and University of San Carlos, both in Guatemala.

We are still in great need of fiscal donations. Driving across the country with the ever growing cost of gas is going to be a feat in and of itself. Anything from $10 to $1000 will help. Donations can be made at www.trustyourstruggle.com via credit/debit cards and paypal.

Thank you in advance for your support,

What not 2 wear... Hit me baby 1 more time !

Our brother Blog is up !

Check out the Manly version of this chic blog and stay tuned for additional BUZY authors ! Feel free to post comments. Pretty Exciting !!!!!

Uh Jeah...

I saw The Dark Knight. It rocked . Sucks that I fell asleep the first ten minutes ... It wasn't bad I have just been so sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. The joker was hilarious !I will def see it again .

Are you the 100% or 50% type of girl ?

I'm the 50% type of girl, I absolutely can not give myself to a man 100% . Ok maybe 55% the most ... but I can't loose myself completely. That's just WACK. I believe in not being on the phone with my significant other all the time, I don't have to speak with him everyday... I mean a little text here and there , mostly when I have jokes or when I truly miss him. I don't even text everyday. I don't ditch my friends or family if plans were already made. I feel like I have tooooo much going for myself to all of a sudden have my life revolve around a man. If you know me well enough , I can't stand a man who has toooooo much free time on his hands and is constantly calling me ... BIG TURNOFF. I do get tight when I actually hit them up and get no answer. The thing is that I don't use my phone at all , so when I do... why not return my call? Another TURNOFF. I am my own person and I refuse to loose myself into a relationship and I don't expect him to give me 100% either. The Reality is that you are either going to be with them for the rest of your life , or they are not going to be there one day , at all. It doesn't hurt to do your own thing on the side , and I don't mean cheating , I mean reaching your own goals. On cheating ... right now I'm against it . I am usually so busy I rarely have time for dates , therefore If I were in a relationship, I would not have the time to juggle two guys at once. I mean if the guy wants to cheat... that's just on him . As long as he wraps it up and I don't hear about it from someone else before he tells me .. its all good. He'll be the one with the guilty conscience.. that is if he really cares for me. Yup, even when I'm just "talking" or what ever you want to call it these days ... I stick to a main one . My main one usually stays on a "friendship" level until it dies out or proceeds to the next step, this usually takes years lol. From time to time , when I have time, I do go on dates to keep my options open , being that I am no where near a serious relationship. The date has got to be worth it. I don't get excited for dates anymore. Is there something wrong with that????? I mean being a busy NYC girl not much guys are worth the time . The ones you think that are , turn out to be the assholes in the long run anyways.

The message im trying to say is: dont give yourself up for the other person 100%. You're just going to be doomed. You are going to be old and alone with nothing accomplished for yourself one day, or old and together and unhappy cause BOTH of you have nothing accomplished. So what type of person are you ? Am I right , Or am I wrong ?

Att Miami

WElcome to my Sat that feels like a Sunday Morning

Yeah I know its really 1pm ... but whatever it's still my morning, maybe not yours. I woke up at 10 am feeling so refreshed . I haven't had any sleep all week ... but any who I was determined to get up and do something productive. Im still waiting to get a call back from my cuz to head to the pool with her and my favorite little person. Thats what sucks when you are busy , you don't really get to see your fam as much as you'd like. The good thing is that you know how important they are to you because you always miss them . Like my mom, when she's home , bugs the hell out of me, but since I have not spoken to her or seen her in almost a week, I miss her like crazy and Im about to call her . A HUGE step for me since I never call DR. I don't get to see too many people much these days and I always miss a handful of them , some I don't really care . Duh I do sound mean right now , but I just don't get that right vibe from everyone and I refuse to fake the funk. I always make it a point to tell the important people in my life , I miss them . I'm not too good on the I love you's , I dont use that phrase loosely but I miss you is close enough. Now back to where I was heading to I got up took a shower, threw on some shorts and a tube top. Yo... its BLAZING out there! Sat in the dining room , and my doorbell rings. I usually don't open the door unless I'm expecting someone. It was a man my grandfather's age , so I opened the door ( still dangerous , when you are alone at home and you forget to hold some household weapon close to you ... you know, just in case) My ass does not trust any Man , well some of my homies yeah, but other than that I am always scared I'll get hurt . This man got lucky I tell ya! So he's crying and tells me his daughter was found dead in DR and they have no money to fly out there. I felt so bad I gave him some $ and my Dad's card. That was like half an hour ago and I'm still feeling like I wanna cry . It was just so sad. Now I have to get over it and just figure out what to do on this extremely HOT day. Should I stay indoors or go out?

boy o boy o boy

I'm tired of feeling empty...

This SATURDAY ...

I decided to be nice ...

I was going to put this guy on blast by adding the pic he sent of himself via text message but then decided not to. Well I actually did and erased it because I felt bad. Just the kind of person I am... But I do have to write about his doings. He sent me a text message with a picture of his shirtless body and thanks to my blackberry I saw how many other people he sent it to. YEAh what a dummy. So I responded with :

"Are you serious? I'm a mature woman and opening things like this is a waste of time for me cause I have other important things to open on my phone (in fact I don't even know why I'm even writing back ) I am actually getting a kick of how men want women to feel like they are making a women feel "special" by sending a bunch of women the same half naked pic. Yes HIS NAME HERE , the other numbers are available to me. congrats for you immaturity!"

After a while he responds with some sorry ass excuse saying that he has a cast on ( he does he sent me a pic) and that he meant to send it to his ex girl friend ( meanwhile there were like FOUR numbers on that shit) . I had to leave the office to go outside and let out a loud ass laugh ... Yes people thought I was crazy. Then he texted me that he's diggin my Hard to get bit. I told him to delete my number. You would think he would stop writing after that one, But no. He decides to say "I'll delete your number if you want me to , but just give me the go ahead" I responded "I did". Yes and he continues to write ...

Lesson of the Day :
Do text your naked pic to multiple people at the same time. You will look plain stupid.

I will be here ...

On Tuesday July 15th!

THIS WEEKS FIX:

'"Dear Flow Meister: I've been surfing the tidal waves of emotion for many days, and am proud to say I haven't wiped out once (though here were two near-misses). But to tell you the truth, I don't know how much longer I can perform this balancing act. How much stamina can one person have? Do you psychically see signs that I'll reach shore anytime soon? -Wobbly Surfer." Dear Wobbly: I predict an end to your trials by Wednesday, July 23 -- or earlier if you, too, become a flow meister." (From Free will astrology)

My thoughts: hmmmm ... Wobbly surfer ... yes that's me. I am never quite sure of my directions in life so I wobble along through life, trying things here and there, scared of things here and there forgetting a lot of things here and there, You get the point, I am basically a mess lol.
I have actually been trying to get my shit together and have been succeeding. I started with little things such as making sure I have my outfit picked out the night before so that I won't loose it in the morning time because I have nothing to wear. Or making it to the express train on time. Or even like last night Clean my room more often so that it stays clean and I wont have to spend days cleaning it the day I decide I have time to do it.

Lately I have been feeling at ease like everything will soon come together and I won't be a mess anymore . Yeah , I believe this weeks horoscope, well, I actually believe more in myself. I am doing life the way I want with nothing standing in my way. . .

Relief...

After work I headed straight home. Walking home from the train I was feeling quite dizzy and weak , I dont know if it was the weather or what but it weird . I got home and went into my room.... a mess. I decided that I had to do something about it and it was probably the reason why I have been feeling so cluttered lately. I jumped in the shower and went on a little cleaning spree . I am so glad I did that ... I feel like my mind has cleared up right away. Now I sit here enjoying the summer night breeze and ready to get some work done ... OH MAN there goes my phone again ...

MUST GET THESE FOR FALL...

THE WACKNESS

If you know me personally , you would know how much I loooooooove Indie films. This is the reason why I couldn't wait for my homie to let me know when he was available to see it ( as if I ever wait lol ). I rounded up two of my girlies and headed to the theater after work. This film is only being shown in THREE theaters around the city. It was definitely worth watching. I don't know about watching it twice though...

So sleepy...

Its 1:18 am and I am still awake... eyes are slowly closing BUT I could not go to sleep without telling you some good news. My homegirl will be joining BUZYGURL as an author. I decided to bring her along because not only is she one of my closest friends but we even each other out. As time passes I will be adding more and more interesting authors for your pleasure. Therefore this blog is not about me anymore its about Life as a BUZY GURL IN DA NYC!

SO EXCITING !!!!!! (ME-screaming inside )

My myspace status says "Sunday Chillin" ... So not true ... Im here sitting on my couch with my feet up on the coffee table ( shhhhh ... don't tell my mom ) and my laptop on my lap working on improving Spanglish Magazine. Oooops I guess i did forget to mention that in addition to my 9:30 am to 6:30 pm job, I am also fashion editor at Spanglishmagazine.com (wait a sec. while I move my dog who insists in digging her head into the teeny space thats between my lower back and the couch) . So yeah , the site does not look like much right now but in a week we will have a whole other look! I KNOW, I KNOW we tried that a few months ago , but it's all about trial and error and making it perfect for our readers. I am super excited and extra motivated about this new strategy we came up with, but that is not what this blog entry is about !

I was checking out the Latino Film Festival Website ( another super exciting thing ! ) and there is a clip on a great idea for a movie about this girl from DA BRONX . Im here watching it and OMG my cousin and my god sister's friend are both in it!!!!!! CHECK OUT PATTY DUKES & REPHSTAR and Lilian ! Let me know what you think !

CLICK HERE TO SEE CLIP !

First Starbucks and now Steve and Barry's ?

Im worried ... I thought the economy was getting better and now thousands of people are going to loose their jobs at Starbucks and Steve and Barry's. That totally blows. Yup no more $8.00 clothing .

July 2nd 2008...

I was desperate to leave work so that I could rush home and get things done ... things like putting away my four loads of clean laundry that was done two days ago and to finish up cleaning my room. I wish I had time to do that deep cleaning shit where you clean every little corner , ever little spot squeaky clean , but unfortunately I never have time. Hmmmm I do have a day off on Friday ... great, So I will just aim to wake up early, bust shit out in a few hours and WALLLLLLA I'll be off to my BBQ's. Now back to my story... on my way to the 4 train on 14th I decided to stop by H&M and forever 21 and pick up a few things . I finally got the jumper of my dreams and I finally fit an H&M size 4! PHEW that took about a couple of years.

I finally head home like around 9, I had to take a second to stop and appreciate the wonderful nighttime weather we had today. I get home and the news of the day was that Sabrina ( the younger sibling) found a dog on the highway and decided to bring it home. At that moment she was walking both dogs . ( yes we already have one) . I was in disbelief until I finally saw the dog that we have named Pancho, Pablo, Tobi, Pepito... so skinny but yet toooo cute ! The thought of having two dogs in the house led Annie (the middle child) and I to post a lost and found ad on craigslist, while ignoring the young one's cries (shes 19). Of course my ass fell in love with the dog and spent the rest of the night playing with him .

At 1am I decided to start putting my clothes away (one thing scratched off the list of things to do) I am now laying in bed reflecting on the day and excited about ELSITA'S WEDDING tomorrow .... GEEEZ I hope I have time to get my nails and hair done after work !

My Tarot for this week :

It doesnt suprise me ...

that someone would die in an emergency room after being neglected by the hospital staff. DAMN NYC hospital staff ... you would think that they would value the life of another human like they value thier own. Watch this video.

If I were Cynthia...

I would not be mad , that is ... if the rumor were true. This is Madonna we are talking about ! The Woman doesnt look a day over 30. But seriously ... what would Madonna want with him? How many of you ladies would take a man who cheats on his wife with a stripper seriously? ME---> a boy toy yes but I would play him a fool. Please Comment .

Thursday, July 3rd

Thought to share this with you ...

I am not a fan of toys but just thought you might be interested: Chances are that your block is starting to sound like the Gaza Strip around this time of year, and in the midst of errant gunshots or fireworks (or a combination of both), Patriot Murko is crashing America's birthday draped in the colors that don't run.Celebrating the greatness of our country, Murko just assaulted our inboxes with his own brand of Pro-American propaganda. We're sharing his video tribute to the U.S. of A., which tugged at our heart strings while simultaneously testing our gag reflexes.Patriot Murko will be released to select retailers this week.This edition is limited to 200 pieces and comes shipped ready to carpet bomb all of the other toys on the shelfHe stands 5 inches tall, features movable arms, hands, and feet (not to mention a special message on the back of his t-shirt). Patriot Murko hits shelves beginning Tuesday, July 1st. (press release sent by 10.deep)

Single gal survival #1

Surround yourself with other single gals ... its like Girls night out everyday with no men allowed to ruin your mood . When you want real advice ... another single woman will be able to see eye to eye . Instead of sulking alone at the sight of a lovey dovey couple you and your single friends will be laughing at the fact that home girl misses out on all the fun that single women have and that taken girls don't .

"I" or "WE"

Don't assume that because I am asking this question I am immediately going to say that being in a relationship sounds better than being single. A few months ago you would have caught me saying that shit... OMG how embarrassing! "They think 'we' instead of 'I' while we think 'I' instead of 'we'" is what one of us ends up saying in my circle of single friends when we ask ourselves questions like "why does it feel like the girl in a relationship is living in a different world than the single girl?" I can not imagine myself thinking "we" right now ... I just can't deal. I was not born with a dude hanging from my umbilical chord ... why must society act like we need a man to be happy and we need to stop being our selves to keep him? If that is the case I rather just stay to myself and party with my single gals until I find that man who will one day love me for who I am and who doesn't mind the fact that I am an an independent girl who cant think "we".

This is ME...

This is the Diary of me... I am a Busy girl who lives in the Bronx and I always have a lot on my mind . This is why I have decided to start a personal blog. I am not going to promise that I will write daily but anytime I get the chance to , I will. I am not writing for you , I am writing for myself , you are welcome to post comments .