Monday, March 23, 2009

I must confess ...

These haven't been the best few days. I have not felt like this in a while . I literally have been sleeping for the past four days. I went out last night and went out tonight for a little bit, of course after sleeping until 5pm. Every night I would tell myself , "Ok tomorrow I will not sleep. I will wake up and do what I have to do to make my dreams come true." It did not work. Ptwitty only inspired me at night.
Don't get me wrong but I have gotten some work done , after 5pm til the wee hours of the morning , as I am doing now. There's a big but : I don't have a social life anymore. You are probably wondering what the big deal is. I have been making myself depressed by just staying in bed all day and not having any contact with people except through Twitter.
I woke up today (@ 5pm) with the intention of going to the movies by myself (another personal thing im working on which I will tell you when I am ready) and going to the Apple store to buy a necessary new battery for my macbook. I did not go to the movies. Went to the apple store alright , and the store was closed. I felt like an idiot . This was the point where I just got fed up with myself and told myself that I need to wake up. Like literally wake up. I thought about how I just wasted a day really believing that the store would be open late on a Sunday. I need to start believing that nothing will wait for me and that I need to do it right then and there as if it will slip out from under my hand if I don't do nothing about it at that moment. You get what I am saying?
So I came home after a fun and very interesting night out and made a list of my goals for the week . If I get them done, i'll buy myself a gift like a bag or something . The catch is that most of it needs to be done during the day.
I am going to sleep soon. I am praying for someone up there to give me the strength I need to get up in the morning and follow my dream.

P.S. This pic is not a pic of me now. I look like an Insomniac hot mess right now and I will not allow you to see me like this .


Anonymous said...

It's okay you've had a few couple of days like this.. I think you also know it's okay:) We all sometimes go through times like this. What matters is that we come out of it. It's all a learning your blob btw

Anonymous said...

lol blog*

Samantha Smikle said...

aww girlie! i hope you completed your goals this week! You're def right about needing to do what you have to do or have your dreams slip away. Don't let that happen! You'll make it. Good Luck :)